Hello lovely one,
| Has fear ever stopped you achieving your dreams?
| Have you ever been so afraid of doing something that it completely paralyse you?
| Has fear ever made you go sprinting as fast as you possibly can in the other direction?
Darling, you aren’t the only one!
Over the last year or so I’ve learnt a few things about FEAR.
Fear is a primal instinct from our cave lady days. Cave ladies were fearful of the things that were a risk to their lives, groups and children e.g.) Sabre Toothed Tigers.
The cave ladies who were afraid and therefor cautious of the sabre toothed tigers were more likely to survive compared to their nonchalant buddies (who usually became tiger dinner).
In layman’s terms: Fear = Survival.
In today’s world there aren’t any tigers lurking outside our houses (well unless you live in Africa) but there are other things that can affect our wellbeing and we tend to fear the crap out of them!
For example: Loosing your job might be a very real fear of yours. Or swimming in shark-infested waters might really freak you out. These are fears that can affect our happiness, wellbeing and loved ones.
But what happens when our fears stop us from really living meaningful and enriching lives? What happens when they start to negatively impact our lives?
Well firstly you become stuck.
You are frozen to the spot.
You seriously cannot move.
Then once you’re stuck in that spot it’s VERY hard to get unstuck. So you get down. Suddenly everyone else looks like their living adventurous and exciting lives except you because you’re frozen with fear. This makes you feel all kinds of terrible things about yourself (that ARE NOT TRUE but that’s how fear works): inadequate, boring, stupid, lame, unlovable…..
Let’s just imagine for a moment what life would be like if you weren’t afraid of anything.
My mind runs WILD with possibilities when I think about what I would do if I wasn’t afraid.
I totally would:
- Pack up our house and move to India for a yearlong spiritual quest.
- Visit the dentist/gynecologist for check ups instead of avoiding them!
- Reach out to more bloggers, coaches who I admire and collaborate with them.
- Write a meditation music album. Heck I’d write more music in general!
- Donate blood regularly.
- Climb to Everest Base Camp in Nepal.
- Sell my belongings and backpack around Italy, Greece, Morocco, Spain, Egypt, Nepal, Canada, South America and while writing a book for young women filled with gorgeous photos, illustrations and inspiring stories of other young girls I’ve met on my adventures.
- Have babies and consistently take them on adventures around the world (ignore the pressure to settle down in suburbia and just be wandering spirited parents).
- Buy or start my own health, wellness and psychology business
- Cut all my hair off and dye it lavender purple.
Now I want you to write down ten things that you would do if you WEREN’T afraid.
Go ahead lovely and pour it all out. Don’t hold back. No dream is too silly or unrealistic.
* * *
Okay. So the choice of what we could do with our lives (if we weren’t afraid) is PRETTY LIMITLESS.
Did you feel pretty excited and inspired? IMAGINE IF YOUR LIFE WAS ALWAYS LIKE THAT!!! It would feel pretty darn awesome.
Did you know? Most of what stops us achieving our most desirable goals and dreams stem from two fears:
1. Fear of Failure
2. Fear of Judgment
And hey lovely I totally get that. The fear of failing, or worse, failing in front of everyone who is watching from the sidelines is really off putting. It is a terrifying thought.
But what if I told you that these fears are actually all in your mind? What if I told you that fear only has power when you give it power?
Lovely, it’s virtually impossible to go thought life without experiencing some kind of failure. The people who manage to live without failing at something live so cautiously that they aren’t living at all!
The beauty of failure is that it is ultimately up to you to decide how look at it.
Failure: It’s all about perspective baby!
You can choose to see failure as “the end of the world” or as the incredible learning experience that it often is. Darling these lessons and failures make us and shape us. AND they keep us from making the same mistake again.
Still not convinced?
Here are my four tips for over coming fear of failure that actually WORK:
1. Write down all potential outcomes
We can all get a bit overcome by the fear of the unknown. Grab a pen and write down the potential outcomes. Often they’re not all that bad!
2. Think Positive Thoughts
Okay so I might sound like a crazy hippie but positive thinking does gorgeous things to your self-confidence and it STOPS self sabotage. Once you start thinking kind thoughts about yourself and your dreams they seem far more achievable.
3. What is the worst that could happen?
Sometimes this might be a genuinely disastrous outcome or alternatively not that bad at all! It’s important to recognize these on your mission.
4. Have a Plan B
Moving to India? Starting a new degree? Right, you need a back up plan if things down work out. Knowing that you have a plan B will help you to feel more confident in moving towards your goals.